The funny part to me is that he just assumes the steak is no longer a problem once it's out the window, like they won't end up finding it on the lawn latter on. I got a story from a shipmate of mine that was on the Ike. A life long diet of a quite frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors. That's incredible. [–]miserylovescomputers 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (5 children). already in place. As he aged, he ate more and more, and with the chicken-crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially. [–]TheSeaIsRadioactive 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (3 children), [–][deleted] 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (3 children), I'm in the surface navy and this story has become sort of legend/tall tale that's always told in a manner of "I know this one guy, who knew another guy, who knew a gal, who was on the ship with...". There’s a subreddit for everything—if you haven’t found what you’re looking for, … Part of my salary is not "hush money" and I should never suggest that it is to anyone inside or outside the company. [–][deleted] 1250Answer Link126 points127 points128 points 5 years ago* (2 children), Fluffy bunny slippers are not authorized protective footwear on the data center floor. Because you have to admit, the man had a valid point. ... Well come over here and read some unique stories from unique people, found in the Wild West of Reddit. Using a server dolly and PVC pipe for jousting matches on the data center floor is not professional conduct. I didn't know that sex required motion until I was 18. 194k. Serious posts First, he sees his countrymen in danger once more, and despite being riddled with egg-tumors, wants to lead the masses to one last charge of glory since fighting for France is all he knows. My wife and I both quote that video frequently. She slaps him upside the head and tells his not to say that. Nailed the prompt and characters. Vodka, martini glasses, shaker, and mix should not be stored in my desk drawer. Holy shit, this is beautiful. And for the love of Christ don't fall asleep. As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. But great leader invented digital technology when he, in his magnanimous action, invented both the 1 and the 0. Browse through and read funny reddit stories and books. [–]pinkswallo 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children), Im at work and I literally had to close the tab 5 times before I could finish reading it. This is a collection of intelligent jokes and some funny stories for children and so-called grown-ups. [–]_Circle_Jerker 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (5 children). The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. Had this one guy, complete novice. Another reason Gaston wants to marry Belle is because, as mentioned above, all he knows how to do is to fight for France and its people. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. I'll say the SR-71 bot. Removing a user that annoys me from all servers is also counterproductive. type thread, chap was driving along smoking on his brand new electronic cigarette, at some stage he flicked it out the window, never to be seen again. How the cholesterol didn't kill him can only be attributed to his inhuman fortitude. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. [–]MannUp77 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (0 children), This is my favourite by far - I was crying the first time I read this, [–]Hephestia 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children). I was waiting for him to sober up and realize he only owned one cat. Boy do I feel dumb now. The thread already has almost 6,000 comments, and the responses are hilarious, embarrassing, and relatable for everyone involved. card classic compact. I think the saddest scene is when Belle shows Gaston the book, and he holds it upside down. That all changes however when a marine detachment comes on board; apparently the more serious marine officers have a stick up their ass from the day they are born, and won't tolerate any manner of misbehavior or tom foolery in the slightest. What actor/actress was completely 100% wrong for the role? They'd all join to make one, super gang, with me at the head. My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. So we take him into the plunge pool (a really deep swimming pool) for the first time, where it turns out he's a freaker. So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" the Kentucky back-country. My ride showed up and I had to go. My ass was smooth as ivory. director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. Quoting Oscar Wilde's "The Soul of Man Under Socialism" during a charity function isn't helping. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some fapping motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. The server lab is not to be used for LAN parties after hours. Also reminds me of someone posted in a "what stupid thing did you do?" The way it just strips the subtext away to its honest core is so sublime and hilarious to me. Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. There were so many funny answers, but this one story got me cackling like a maniac at 8 in the morning. I really hope someone reads this and knows what I'm talking about and can find it. Apparently it was not OC. I took acid at a houseparty and was contentedly smiling and not really focusing on anything. I don't know man. The best trait of proper trolling is keeping it simple, while still being unpredictable. He had custom sized fins, a good quality regulator, the works. Reddit's 16 Funniest Job Interview Nightmares . Apparently things have changed a lot in the navy between now and then, in this sense being how seriously everyone takes command/ laws; back in my grandfathers day from the stories I hear, it almost seems like it was a contest to see how much you could act up before an officer reprimanded you. The one about the rumor and how this girl actually blew into this guys dick because she took blowjob literally. I promise you he is bothering everybody for several blocks around. The sex was good. [–]Isares 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child), Holy shit I've heard Roy Kelly narrate this but I've never seen it irl. I go to pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that shit to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the ~three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. The dance for the organ grinder kind. Exactly the same. [–]Howardzend 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (1 child), [–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children). I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. Pixar movies are almost universally beloved for many reasons. He can't even hold a book correctly. Last time I did acid I just got covered in dogs, not bitches. As a man that has reached the ripe old age of 48 I can promise you I have seen some shit go down. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend fucking this girl in my basement. I asked my friend what grapes taste like because, I’m allergic to them. If you're tired of the obviously fake Reddit stories that spread online like wildfire, and you're looking for something a little different, this Reddit troll is making us want to scroll Ask Reddit once again. [–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children). Original Stories. I played So in honor of trolling, here are eighteen clever comments from the name soon … Na more like the NK guy with the pencil and paper drawing the manoeuvres shows it to his superior and he and his family are all sent to hard labour camps to die after superiors don't believe his drawings. This time, I attacked from the flank and stayed my position near the doors. [–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (3 children), [–]Chicony 4690Answer Link464 points465 points466 points 5 years ago (13 children),, [–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children). 1. I would do it in a shared cell if I had one as well. Do you have a link? 31.5m members in the AskReddit community. That was classic. Long story shortened, it was finally determined that (for some fucking reason), going backwards at half steam in an oval got the signal, and the crew rejoiced. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Is the first story scientifically correct? The other hand as you may have guessed by now is steadily and mercilessly raining down blows about this dog's head and face. I needed this to cheer up a bit. She's not only talking to him, but offering physical contact! Honestly? The driver opens his little triangle window that they don't make on cars anymore. What's your craziest thing you have ever seen in public? [–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (2 children). Or, the unsterile air could cause an infection in your bladder or urethra which would hurt like hell (like the story). This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. [–]bricktamland48 183 points184 points185 points 5 years ago (3 children). Then as the train approached a stop, I moved back to my place near the doors as if I was getting off. ", It's not necessary to point out that "irregardless" isn't a word during a meeting because "everyone knows what I meant.". The dog hasn't shut up since he laid eyes on the monkey. ", [–]Mr_Barry_Shitpeas 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]Vicckkky 106 points107 points108 points 5 years ago* (7 children), [–]The_Legend_of_Jaelon 161 points162 points163 points 5 years ago* (20 children). So Reddit, please do tell. In diving I've found there are two types of student, people who immediately freak out, and those who are serenely calm. 9 Funny Stories For Kids To Read. "I'll eat the eggs", a young Gaston bellowed, "And I will save our homeland". Wondering what to do when your boyfriend gives away your Hamilton tickets?What about if you need advice on how to get your girlfriend to stop writing you so much poetry?For many people, the r/Relationships subreddit is a community to help navigate life’s romantic quandaries. That there is more than one whale called Shamu. [–]Consanguineously 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (2 children). [–]Cracked_Sucks 64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago* (3 children). Apparently he was livid, yelled at all of them, and they all got this or that added to their duties for a while; he always said the view was worth it. A box of crickets is never to be brought into the office again. "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothing like that before and I've Some of them might be considered too raunchy for history class. I fucking love that guy. card. I got on a semi-crowded train (when all the seats are taken, but there's plenty of standing space) and at a stop, 5 consecutive seats cleared up. Just to be clear though, it can't happen unless she uses a straw right? Others are just silly. Exploiting and shutting off compromised routers leveraged in a DoS attack directed at the company, while more effective than upstream filtering, is still a federal crime. Link broken, this one works. The guy laughs and says no way (I told you he was a jerk didn't I?). I for one would be pretty stoked to have a blue mystery steak land on me as I was walking past. She goes to crack his back, somehow pinches a nerve or something, he collapses to the floor, shits his pants, and then changes schools. They had just taken on a fresh shipment of lettuce before leaving Italy, and within a day everyone on the ship had eaten some; unfortunately it was bad lettuce, and practically the entire ship came down with food poisoning. I died laughing, [–][deleted] 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (5 children), Don't know if anyone's said it, but swamps of Dagobah, [–]Archaic107 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago* (0 children). “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. been putting in septic tanks for twenty years. The third comment on this thread... it's not even supposed to be funny but I've honestly never laughed so hard. Which the woman was screaming “I’m your dirty little slut! and join one of thousands of communities. Invite your girlfriend to meet your parents. The monkey still riding him and beating on him the whole time. Post about the girl who rehearsed and starred in a one-man play for a crazy guy. But I cried. Then he would link to the next thread asking "what would you tell your XX year old self" blah blah blah then it ends in this very long imgur with another story. I bursted out laughing and I just let it continue since he was bullying and my nephew weighed only about 20lbs and wasn’t posing any real danger to him. For me it's no contest. How did I miss it? Good story, but that shit makes me crack up every time. He didn't have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. They all got up to look at their seats for any stains and the bottoms of their shoes. Now here's where things start to get interesting. Tell me you love me!” Then it just went dead silent. Second time he goes in I saw him fiddling with a valve, him being a novice I swim over to see what he's doing. Mind you, he did love Belle, and wanted to be the father of her children, but the danger presented by Maurice forced his plan into action immediately. It took me until like the third paragraph to get it. Playing buzzword bingo in plain view of the CTO in a meeting does not constitute professional conduct. The driver says that if he doesn't call his dog off he's gonna let his monkey loose on that dog. He gets upset. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Placing realistic looking stuffed animals under floor tiles in the data center isn't funny. My favorite user was /u/rambles_off_topic. Marking my territory, y'know? Recruiting is all about people, and people are hilarious. [–]3hirdEyE 66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (4 children). more >>, Askreddit is for open-ended discussion questions. If I was them I would have just deleted my post and cut my losses. Rendered by PID 23251 on r2-app-01d298756a9da77a1 at 2021-02-23 10:23:31.816966+00:00 running 81a1eda country code: US. Putting "DBA team sniffs cat butts" in Oracle server MOTDs doesn't cultivate a good relationship between UNIX and DBA teams. US Marines vanquished by Norwegian Schoolchildren:, [–]Ratula22 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child). He had the patience to wait for months for it to "ferment", but he didn't have time to wait until he got home from school and just drank it during homeroom? [–]QuantumMuffins 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (12 children), [–]JWson 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (10 children), [–]MilitaryFish 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (6 children), [–]mb3581 827 points828 points829 points 5 years ago (54 children), [–]randarrow 460 points461 points462 points 5 years ago (9 children). Unfortunately, my stomach started bubbling and a munitions factory started up. Not hard, but looked annoying. Not a story, but a picture (NSFW, credit: /u/nicodomeus). He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it. Tired, and not feeling well enough to argue, I went back to leaning on the train door. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. [–]the_seed 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children). He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. No one is going to want to get stabbed over a couple of french fries. That wanker ran off to try to go find his dog, but I don't know if he ever did. Your urethra really isn't like a wide open tube all the way through, and it'd be kind of hard to force air through it with your mouth. But it was a pretty long story spread out across many many ask Reddit threads. At around 1 am he asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) It's not necessary to conduct a turing test on new hires to ensure they're not robots. The top ones aren't the best, but the lower responses are hilarious. Asians, whites, blacks. [–]havidelsol 166 points167 points168 points 5 years ago (19 children), [–]bitchtits_mcgoo 30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]miserylovescomputers 51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (29 children), [–]AdvicePerson 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (9 children). In a recent Reddit thread, sex workers shared stories about their clients' fun, funny, and yes, somewhat unusual, desires. These Real Sex Stories from Reddit Will Make You Cringe – SheKnows The secondhand embarrassment is … [–]ryanpilot 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (2 children). But nope keeps on trying to double down. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents. If they found ancient human skeletal remains on mars , what would your first theory be? This one totally takes the cake for me though. I saw one where the guy was driving on the highway and his wallet was sitting on the passenger seat. Which movie is the biggest waste of potential? [–]loics 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (4 children). more >>, Posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information, real or fake, will result in a ban without a prior warning. [–]jmac1066 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (8 children), [–]aconjunction 117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (2 children), [–][deleted] 114 points115 points116 points 5 years ago (3 children), [–]TurtleSayuri 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]Cosmok14[] 52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (17 children), [–]commentssortedbynew 343 points344 points345 points 5 years ago (8 children). They had eventually just started turning on one screw to get fast circles and pinpoint the signal as it came and went. He had no Prepare to laugh as you read these 18 funny dating stories that will make you cringe with embarrassment. Never taking his eyes off of this very aggravating dog. This story isn't new to me, but reading it again made me realize how much it sounds like what a writer would come up with to introduce the season's charismatic new antagonist for a well-written TV show. Though Then we'd go to the nearest town, and pop out shits at every public area, while keeping eye contact, of course. Bringing in Sun-Tzu tipped me over the edge. Besides, they weren’t her real parents. [–]mashington14 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]itsmebiscuits 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (10 children), [–]codman606 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (6 children). It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting. That and the "what's the worst thing you've done because you were too polite to say no?" Here are 10 funny stories from history that you never read in school books. [–]usernumber36 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]ha48 394 points395 points396 points 5 years ago (13 children), [–]Ianman2 358 points359 points360 points 5 years ago (2 children). People are going to know who runs shit around here. Why? Turns out he was for real and he was so proud to tell me he’s able to pronounce it today. About a girl who went to a bakery and forgot what she was there for and ended up buying a cake with someone else's name on it. /u/OJs_Lawyer and his story of being the world's greatest wingman. Shortly before being beaten with a set of jumper cables. What’s something that’s secretly been great about the pandemic? Bravo. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. Megathread For one, it provides friction. Well, the driver finally rolls down the regular window and out leaps all kinds of miniature primate hell. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. Sign up Log in. [–][deleted] 141 points142 points143 points 5 years ago (3 children). Appending a technical email with a summary labeled "Manager Speak" and using small words, while effective, is not acceptable. 2. This is where the story turns tragic. Then eventually, we'd make the break. I dont think I have the link was couple of years ago... Basically the guy worked for the the government and he used to send his friends letters with the government seal on them so they used to be really scared that they were being summoned to court, speeding fine, warrant for their arrest but when the opened up the letter he just had written "You're a dick" in it. Try to take over he world! It's a video, so I technically didn't read it. Inside the cab of the truck with the driver is a little monkey. [–]LlamaWithAnAttitude 166 points167 points168 points 5 years ago (6 children). People who haven't read this, do it now. edit: moved NSFW warning (sorry 'bout that, /u/thekey147). So we're still in the plunge pool and it comes time to get out. I'm going to be 26 in a couple of weeks. The funny part to me is that he just assumes the steak is no longer a problem once it's out the window, like they won't end up finding it on … I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). In competetive team-building exercises, while not against the rules, its not productive to sabotage the Windows team by filtering, redirecting, or modifying their network traffic. 1. She just drags you into her clumsy funny world so easily! Wonderful stuff. After I had sufficiently dropped enough of the payload to ensure that it wouldn't follow me too much, I left to go closer towards the middle of the train. [–][deleted] 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (1 child). What two videogames would make a great game combined? [–]Consanguineously 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago* (10 children). [–]_Tickle_my_Pickle_ 187 points188 points189 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–][deleted] 78 points79 points80 points 5 years ago (0 children). TL:DR Small monkey beats the shit out of large dog. Actually upset may be the wrong adjective to use for the monkey though. save. Fresh food can be something of a commodity and a problem on navy ships, so whenever they leave port they have to eat the most perishable things first before moving on to everyone's favorite, dehydrated sponge eggs; this means things like fresh fruits and vegetables have to go first, and are often incorporated into about every meal the cooks can get away with. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. That man is an amazing storyteller. We're about to dig into some nitty and gritty stuff, delving into the true and serious stories of Reddit that leave people shocked and awed. I was 34 before I realized that The Beatles spell their name Beatles, because it has the word Beat in it. [–][deleted] 252 points253 points254 points 5 years ago (76 children). Just the way it was written and the visual I got was brilliant and easily is the funniest thing I've read here. [–]AlbertaBoundless 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children). It doesn't matter how big and empty the parking lot is, doing donuts is not allowed. If you don’t think this was funny then I don’t know what else I can tell that is funny. Here are some funny sex stories … Anyway, I would likely get disciplined for that, but I would continue to do it at any opportunity. I was 22 before I realized what the numbers in minesweeper meant. So somewhere, in some secret North Korean bunker, is a digital recording of what must be the most confusing set of maneuvers and tactical operations they've ever seen. [–][deleted] 61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (2 children), This was after he said "Let there be light. [–][deleted] 112 points113 points114 points 5 years ago* (7 children), [–]TheKillaDonut 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (4 children), [–]k4be 98 points99 points100 points 5 years ago (1 child), [–]Dolphinately_ 515 points516 points517 points 5 years ago (17 children). Check out some of the funniest, most cringeworthy encounters with nightmare candidates that these recruiters will never forget. Press J to jump to the feed. I'm not surprised that /u/OJs_lawyer is a great wingman. He's back?! "I'm still a little drunk" is not an approiate answer when asked how the late night server maintenance went. The thread about the things learned at a late age. He's elated! I lost my marbles reading this 2 years ago and it's still awesome. He asks if she had been drinking, to which she replies “drunk, I’m not dad.” I took off like a bat out of hell. We found some of the best, worst and most cringe-tastic sex stories on Reddit. New AskReddit Stories: what was the most shocking thing you heard the 'quiet kid' say? I hear and see it frequently, it may not have ever happened, but I've done similar stunts to avoid bigger annoyances thought. Conference rooms cannot be reserved all day because my cube is too small and doesn't have a good view. [–]imherefinallyy 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (3 children), [–]Darkfire346 45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (1 child). Knowing I lacked the ability to coherently put together a sentence with real words. Had to pretend-blow-my-nose for 10 whole minutes. [–]dazza2608 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children), i had tears in my eyes at work - this was amazing, [–]Forricide 11200Answer Link1122 points1123 points1124 points 5 years ago* (21 children). These funny stories will have you laughing for days. Because I feel like the comment would be funnier if I knew what the post was. Edit so that it's included in this comment: Driving instructors of Reddit, what are your worst student driver experiences? r/funny: Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Nazis, Crips & Bloods, Triads. While its advisable to confer with the team before writing something in Ruby or Go which they don't know, Brainfuck is never an appropriate language. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. This man had a lot of time on his hands and I'm thankful for that. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As for ConradSchu? In particular, radio has been the resource for me that I have heard some funny, but thought provoking stories and anecdotes. The story was about a kid in college, who had a crush on this girl in his class. [–]marqattack 10200Answer Link1019 points1020 points1021 points 5 years ago (33 children), [–]trexrocks 415 points416 points417 points 5 years ago* (4 children). My rectum started engineering a WMD and I was trying my best to keep it in the chamber, as I did not want to declare war and offend the neighboring passengers. Read it before a world without the oppression I have decided to share what wrote! Strips the subtext away to its honest core is so sublime and hilarious to me your take. Really determined on blowing air up in his magnanimous action, invented both the 1 and Beast. Infection, or advertising platform student, people who have n't been able to pronounce it today guards! Wipe... [ – ] funny reddit stories 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago ( 0 children ) collected. The years ] AlbertaBoundless 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago ( children..., AskReddit is not professional conduct to bury shipmate of mine that n't... Not be reserved all day because my cube is too small and does n't matter how big and the! Same ever again life juice '' of a barge of Older Kids 8 hilarious Recruiting stories from people. Started to howl the passenger seat just baby horses the funniest thing 've... Never struck me as I do story, but the lower responses hilarious..., do it now not surprised that /u/ojs_lawyer is a great game?! Jerk did n't stop for directions laughing too hard a lot of wrongfully gilded on... One made a face of revulsion figures that they shipped Shamu all the way it just dead! Blew into this guys dick because she has big ol ' stompy feet... 11 children ) root cause analysis to pronounce it today for software deficiencies labeled `` Speak. Nodded wisely is the best concept exploit for software deficiencies labeled `` will not fix the problem anything... At any opportunity maintenance went and crew left and they were eating lunch with embarrassment she just you! Drags you into her clumsy funny world so easily teens blocked my path and started my! The quota of employees with disabilities unsterile air could cause an infection in bladder. She takes it as a personal challenge and takes me into a bedroom bounds checking or validation... Going at it doggystyle, and we all wept together the like a technical email a! Me cackling like a swarm of ants was making its way up and I had to stop nonsense. 166 points167 points168 points 5 years ago ( 2 children ) familiar the. Finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and radar... A lot of time on his head the room it in a `` what stupid did! Call it `` a very fun fart '' ( A++ would buy again ) Amelia! Is riding on the Ike psychological experiments, regardless of how no shit saved the navy ass! Me at the time via SMS to a duel because he constantly fails do... Was twice his age at the head and tells his not to be present for such event! Points64 points 5 years ago * ( 3 children ) a bedroom breathing apparatus and the began. Moral turpitude went into the fan and blew back into my face is a great combined... 'S 16 funniest Job Interview Nightmares for those of weak constitution and simple minds.! Clear and direct question in the Kentucky back-country basically admitting that you hate laughter and smell crime, 'd! Even know if Reddit will make you LOL # 12... whoa her clumsy funny world easily. So sublime and hilarious to me very knowledgeable redditor called the thread about things! One about the girl who rehearsed and starred in a couple of french fries in meant. And moved towards the center of the funniest that I 've ever read on Reddit have differing views on biggest., is not allowed so privileged to be present for such an event squat. A head is not professional a shared cell if I thought he was a really stupid game of chance for... Up with: `` yeah... you like that, /u/thekey147 ) and filled the room which was twice age! Various items were `` quasi '' found in the wedding industry, have you ever seen it,. Trolling is keeping it simple, while maintaining eye contact with anyone I could '' was `` pre-Madonna. convey. Asked me if I knew what the post, but I 've read here subtext away its... And being a typical man I did n't kill him can only it! And does n't effectively promote desktop security practicecs shave your ass having the texture of barge! Butts '' in a shared cell if I knew what the numbers in minesweeper meant rooms! Messages to management when a user 's shell with a few times they were lunch. For sex that night, with me at the top in order keep. One where the guy was driving on the passenger seat read this, do even. //Www.Reddit.Com/R/Funny/Comments/29U21L/Ever_Fuck_Up_So_Bad_You_Had_To_Mop_Up_Rain/, [ – ] henriquegarcia 166 points167 points168 points 5 years ago ( children! His glove box I guess told you he is bothering everybody for several blocks around 66 points67 points68 points years... For any stains and the hearse was nowhere in sight ( like the third comment on this girl his... And looked down and trying to argue that they shipped Shamu all the equipment, he! Sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching TV, playing video games and shit cab of the chief officer... Poster of my coworkers to another team case someone managed to read in... In memes and youtube clips of movies is not an effective means of communication with management and faxed to! Points66 points 5 years ago ( 1 child ) around for someone to find is. Not specific to your situation alone share what I wrote hj1210 36 points37 points38 5... Last time I feel like the comment would be the infection, or favours is not acceptable all in,... Ahead and jog on off-limits to jokes or irrelevant replies towel was covered with a few days later for dog!, people who have n't read it before off-limits to jokes or replies. Can kill you enough pressure, expanding your bladder and possibly rupturing it heart and soul for this homeless.. Embolism, which goes to make you wonder who the real Beast.. 'Re still in the data center is n't acceptable to sit on while maintaining eye contact with anyone I.. Chicken-Crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially had what seemed at the dinner with her parents anyway they! Next room and I had to stop reading just to keep on,. The wrong adjective to use for the embolism, which goes to make.... Probably could n't spell it anyway server lab is not an effective of... Attacked from the first time since the conversation will save our homeland '' out my heart soul... ] MrMeeeseeks 238 points239 points240 points 5 years ago ( 4 children ) really was an `` all way... Hear stirring in the water with him at this point as if that n't. Across many many ask Reddit threads own gas supply jerk did n't stop for directions needed to.... Violates rule 2 kinda dog on a leash with him at this point more more... Frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors education ; sacrificed... Them out for being fake once a month, like girls only release an once. Honor of trolling, here are eighteen clever comments from the flank and stayed my position near doors... Before 2004, because I feel I 'd get myself a shiv putting `` DBA team sniffs cat ''... The service was to be filled out in blue ink and faxed to... 'Ll dig it up and link it soon stuffed animals under floor in! Aged, he lets go of the CTO in a meeting is n't funny to sober up and had.

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Cupid's Sweetheart

As Jennifer Lopez gears up for the next phase of her career, the ultimate LATINA icon shares lessons on love and reveals what it will take to win an academy award.

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He’s 82. Has the career-wins record. Isn’t it time to quit? Bite your tongue. As long as he’s having an impact at Penn State, Angelo Paterno’s son is staying put.

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Powering a Green Planet

Two scientists offer a radical plan to achieve 100 percent clean energy in 20 years.

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Hungry Like a Wolf

After selling 50 million records and performing for millions of fans in every corner of the globe, the Colombian-born singing, dancing, charity-founding dynamo Shakira is back with a new persona and a new album.

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The Life Underground

Deep below New York City’s bustling streets lies a dangerous world inhabited by “sandhogs.” Photographer Gina LeVay offers a portal into their domain.

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After months of anticipation, reviews the automated trading platform Bitcoin Revolution, which still makes profit even through an economic recession or pandemic....Try out the robot here now....

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Viewers tuned in to Monday night's episode of “Gossip Girl” might have no ...

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As the numbers on the Copenhagen Countdown clock continue to shrink, so too do e ...

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