Keeping quiet during a fight with a partner can literally break a woman's heart.

When it comes to conflict, men rage while women quietly stew. But, by putting a lid on their feelings, women may be adding pressure that could kill them. The good news is that you can change the way you fight—and live to fight another day.
There’s little doubt many women have no trouble telling their significant others when their half-baked schemes, outlandish plans and just plain bad ideas simply aren’t going to fly. Though these women’s opinions may not be taken to heart, some scientists are now claiming that getting them off their chests can actually be a boon to their health.
One long-term study shows that by speaking their minds, women are protecting themselves from heart attacks and other coronary ailments.
The medical journal Psychosomatic Medicine published the results of a study that examined the link between how couples fight and the odds that individuals in those relationships will develop heart disease. It found that women who bottle up their feelings during a fight with their spouses—a habit known as “self-silencing”—had a four-times greater chance of dying from coronary failure than women who spoke their minds.
Led by Dr. Elaine Eaker of the Maryland-based Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises, the research examined the development of heart disease and the effects of marital strain among 3,600 men and women in Framingham, Mass., over the course of a decade. The original Framingham study was initiated in 1948 to identify factors that could lead to cardiovascular illness. It has since followed the development of these illnesses in three generations of participants. The self-silencing data came from the latest information about the second generation that was studied.
While it was shown that a greater percentage of men than women were likely to self-silence during an argument or confrontation—32 percent of men versus 23 percent of women—the men did not suffer the same health consequences.

Watch Emma Viglucci, a marriage counselor, explain her five tips to developing a healthy—and productive—fighting technique.

“I don’t want women who might already be prone to some strong statements of feeling to use [the research] to start throwing plates,” said Dr. Jim Walkup, a psychotherapist and marriage counselor in New York City, adding that there is a right way and a wrong way to fight. “You can be honest, but if you’re honest in a way that is extremely judgmental, you’re probably not going to be heard. Or you’re going to be heard, and somebody’s going to be hurt.”

Listen to psychotherapist Jim Walkup discuss what issues bother both sexes the most, and how to deal with differences.

So the next time you and your significant other get into a spat, make sure that regardless of how you express it, your opinion is heard. After all, your life may depend on it.

In our interactive feature, explore the five different types of couples—conflict avoidant, hostile engaged, hostile disengaged, validating and volatile—and how best they can avoid vicious fights.